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Making Peace with Motherhood . . . And Creating a Better YOU!

5/20/2010

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  1. How would you define success?

  2. By your definition are you successful?




Read Proverbs 16:2-4 in the Message




2 Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good;
   God probes for what is good.

 3 Put God in charge of your work,
   then what you've planned will take place.

 4 God made everything with a place and purpose;
   even the wicked are included—but for judgment.




  1. What is the Bible's definition of success?

  2. Are you successful by this definition?




This seasons of Motherhood can involve fatigue and weariness.

Overwork can lead to resentment if we feel of appreciation.

If we feel inadequate we can become weary.

When we become anxious and captivated with the tasks at hand we can also forget to take care of ourselves.




Faithfulness Brings More Peace than Successfulness




What we need to make spiritual, emotional and psychological peace with motherhood is not to compare out “To Do” lists with those of our husbands or of other moms, but to adjust our inner selves – our spiritual perspectives. The first thing that needs adjustment is our understanding of success. The glorification of success has caused more than one good mother can be failure to another. Mother Teresa said “We are called upon not to be a successful but to be faithful.” Her words remind us that when we receive a calling from God, like motherhood, we must approach it from a spiritual perspective not a success perspective. If we wish to move toward our goal of achieving and maintaining peace with God's call to motherhood, we must resist the temptation to evaluate ourselves by the measure of success that the world dangles before us. Success will never truly satisfy, but obedience to God's biblical will and His special call to motherhood will enable, empower, energize and satisfy us.




Look at the Diagram of a young girl seeking to balance herself by finding her center of gravity.




When Jesus Is Our Center of Gravity




This is a word picture of what it is like to find our spiritual balance when we are family-centered, home-based moms. It is most important that Jesus be at the center in order for us to enjoy peaceful, balanced mothering. He is the ballast around which we continuously poise and counterpoise our spiritual virtues or “shift our spiritual weight” in order to press forward fulfillment of God's will. How would you explain what we see in this diagram?




  1. Initiative – Taking initiative is signing up for a play group when you move into a new town – (or joining MOPS). Initiative is beginning to volunteer where you see a need. Taking action on a commitment or a decision, despite fear or failure or rejection, is initiative. It is tied to obedience when it is doing what you believe God is calling you to do. Initiative is spelled out in Proverbs 31:27, “she watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.




 27 She watches over the affairs of her household
       and does not eat the bread of idleness.





Read Psalms 37:7 in the Message and 1 Timothy 6:6

Quiet down before God,
      be prayerful before him.
   Don't bother with those who climb the ladder,
      who elbow their way to the top. - Psalms 37:7

“But godliness with contentment is great gain.” - 1 Timothy 6:6

  1. Contentment – Actually being content is also what God is calling you to be during this time. It is being satisfied with an e-mail conversation with a good friend when you don't have time for a play-group. It could be saying no to a volunteer position you'd love to take on when you've already committed to breast feeding for now. It could be agreeing to take on a part time work schedule to help out financially if your family needs it. Contentment is summed up in Psalm 37:7, “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him. Do not fret when others succeed in their ways.”

Contentment is not an anxious, “Oh, what should I do next?” . . . We are just not to fret or compare with others. To be content is not a lack of action that is filled in with anxious worry. To be content is a powerful, peaceful type of action, a choice to be grateful in the present that gives us time to prepare for the swing toward initiative when it comes.

  1. Faithfulness – How would you define Faithfulness?

Read Hebrews 11:1 in the Message. “The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd.” What is the Bible's definition of faithfulness?

Are you faithful by this definition?

Read what the Bible says about God's faithfulness

Philippians 1:6

“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Laminations 3:22-24

“Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
       for his compassions never fail.

 23 They are new every morning;
       great is your faithfulness.

 24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
       therefore I will wait for him."

The figure in our Diagram has a goal – it is not to stand still on the log, but to move forward. It is the same with this season of motherhood. Our goal is to move forward in helping our children and ourselves grow in healthy, balanced directions. Philippians 1;6 says, “I am confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus”

God has a plan and you are a part of it. Whether you are being called to initiate new activities, to drop old ones, or to be content with the current activities and circumstances as part of that plan; be confident, the Scriptures tell you that God will complete the plan. With Jesus as your center of gravity, faithfulness as your guide, and initiative and contentment held in balance, you will move forward in peace.





Which of these three virtues is the most difficult for you? Why?

Read Romans 12:1-2 in the Message

“So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”





1 Comment
Kirsty Thomson
9/11/2010 06:08:34 am

I have absolutely loved reading Paula's Devotional - I serve in a local MOPS group in scotland and also help other MOPS groups in the role as UK Community Developer - God BLess - Paula's Bible Studies are amazingly refreshing

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    Picture
    Paula VanDerlyn and hubby.

    Mentor

    Every month our MOPS mentor Paula VanDerlyn works hard to prepare a bible study based on the MOPS theme for the steering committee. We start our planning meetings with this study to focus us on what is really important..


    Please share what you think about this discussion. We want to hear your thoughts!!!



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    About the Author

    "Even tho my children are all grow, my care giving job is not over.
    I live with in Somers with my present husband, Jim, his daughter and her 3 year old son and my 85 year old mother.
    We share 5 adult children ranging in age from 27 tho 42 and have 10 grandchildren ranging in age 4 months thru 11 years old.

    In my role as Mentor for MOPS God has brought me to a place where He can use so much of my life experience.  I've always worked with women and children in many capacities.  I was a Jr. High Youth Leader, Sunday School teacher and women's Bible study leader.
    In addition to all these teaching experiences God has faithfully seen me thru many losses - including the loss of my 3 year old son Jonathan to cancer.

    I had placed my faith and trust in Jesus Christ at the age of 18 after being raised as a Jehovah's Witness.  I've come to understand the Lorship of Jeus in my live, having experienced His faithfulness, strength and presence thruough all these years of raising my family and sustaining difficult losses.

    I feel strongly about helping young mothers find God's reality and purpose for their lives because I know personally how He has both changed and sustained me in so many meaningful ways.

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